


Nothing Feels Better

by Anannua



Series: I'm Here To Get Hurt and Chew Gum (and I'm all out of gum) [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Anal Fingering, Dark, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Statutory Rape, Underage Rape/Non-con, Underage Sex, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 05:55:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20755424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anannua/pseuds/Anannua
Summary: When there’s an opportunity to fully humiliate and dishonor the son of Konoha’s White Fang, Suna jumps on the chance. What better way to showcase the last Hatake’s lack of control than to have him rape his entire team of genin?This is not a happy story. There is not a happy ending.You've been warned.





	Nothing Feels Better

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote something that ended happy and delightful (previous story, Riptide) and thought: wow that was easy. 
> 
> Now for something that I have never attempted in a million years, something so far outside my comfort zone that I kind of need to become someone else entirely to get in the right mindset for it. This is a writing exercise as much as it is Very Dark Smut. 
> 
> This is not a happy story. There is not a happy ending. You've been warned. 
> 
> This story involves the following triggering content:  
Unwanted Sexual Overtures  
Forced Sexual Situation  
Statutory Rape  
Rape  
Vaginal and Anal Sex  
Forced Blowjob  
Groping 
> 
> I won’t say enjoy, unless you’ve specifically come to enjoy it, in which case, off we go.

He can’t help but remember this moment perfectly. He doesn’t have his Sharingan active but the image is seared into his brain nonetheless. This is when it happens. The instant he takes his eyes off of the children under his command, the second he glances away to scour the endless stretch of sand ahead.

The moment he cost his team everything.

It’s deep in Suna territory, with sand and wind and nothing else for miles. Footprints aren’t a concern. Their trail is gone within minutes as the sand swirls around them, but it also makes spotting enemy footprints impossible. Scents don’t catch on the sand the way they do in the forest, which is why he doesn’t get a hint of their attackers until they’re upon them.

Sakura and Naruto are pulled under the sand instantly. They vanish under the ground without time to cry out in alarm.

Sasuke is the closest, the only one he’s able to reach out and snag off the ground, but then there’s three sets of hands on his ankles.

He drops Sasuke to send the lightning for Chidori down both feet, electrocuting his attackers, but in doing so he loses his grip on his last student, who is wrenched beneath the sand, out of sight.

Suddenly he’s alone in the desert.

+

Hatake Kakashi is one of Konoha’s best trackers. It’s this skill that allows him to read the near imperceptible signs in the sand and the faint scent of blood. He doesn’t waste time worrying about the state of his gennin.

He catches up to them in a half day’s sprint. He’s able to incapacitate all seven of their abductors. A sharp edge sings, leaving behind six slit throats. The seventh he saves for interrogation.

They’ve had his team for twelve hours. He wants to know what they’ve done.

The medic sneers and spits at his sandals. He carves off the man’s fingernails one by one, then his toe nails.

“I’ll skin your joints, next,” he says glibly, bloody kunai spinning on a pinky finger. “Or you can tell me what I want to know.”

“It’s Venthrex,” the Suna-nin snarls as the skin is flayed from his kneecap.

The hand holding the knife goes deathly still.

“It’s the good stuff, too. Highly potent. They’ve all got three times the legal limit.”

Despite the blood on his lips and the man manages a chuckle, taunting his enemy with his dying breath.

“You know what you’ll have to do, don’t you? It can’t be flushed out. You’ll have to fuck it out of them—“

The words end up as gargled blood when Kakashi slits his throat.

He leaves the kunai in the man’s eye socket, jammed deep with the force of his denial.

Venthrex. It’s the worst drug on the black market. A powerful aphrodisiac, fatal in large quantities. The only known treatment for overdoses is flushing the system of the drug, which requires the victim to ejaculate or orgasm.

Kakashi searches the Suna-nin’s medical pouches grimly. Sure enough, there’s at least nine vials, three empty syringes. He checks each of his students thoroughly, measuring pulse, heart beat, breathing, and blood pressure.

Even unconscious, Sakura makes a breathy sound when he touches her throat.

He can’t stop the tremor in his hands when he checks the others.

Sasuke is panting mildly. His temperature is rising steadily.

Naruto seems the least affected by the drug. Kakashi hopes against hope that the monster sealed inside him will be enough to keep the worst of the drug cocktail at bay, but the other two clearly need immediate medical treatment.

Or in this case, sex.

Kakashi stares at them for a moment. His team. Sakura, in her cherry-red dress. Naruto, with his father’s eyes and bright spirit. Sasuke, another Uchiha he’s already put in harm’s way.

They’re just kids. All of them still have baby teeth. Two of them have no family to return to.

They’ve been his responsibility for less than a year. How has he failed them so badly already?

Sakura’s mouth falls open and a soft sound escapes.

His mind races. The enemy has led him into the middle of the desert. Even running full tilt, they won’t reach a village for another half day at best, and from the way Sakura keeps twisting, she won’t make it.

It sinks in, what he’ll have to do to save her.

It’s a lie, though, to put it that way. He’s not going to save her. He’s going to prolong her life at the cost of stealing her youth, and not just hers, he’s reminded as Sasuke pants, twisting in discomfort. His cheeks are beginning to color.

He won’t ask for their forgiveness. He won’t deserve it, not after what he needs to do to them.

This will be his last act as a ninja, he thinks as he takes off his gloves and removes his forehead protector. He won’t abandon his team again. He won’t let them die. But he won’t be able to live with himself after he’s saved them, and so before he begins, he takes the blade from the Suna-nin’s eye socket, yanks it free and draws a line through his own forehead protector, the one that used to cover Obito’s eye.

He lays that down and turns his back to it, and touches Sakura’s shoulder.

+

Sakura’s body is hot.

She knows, as she’s shaken gently, that they were on a mission, in Suna. It was her and her team, the two knuckle-head boys and her jounin sensei. Perception comes slowly as she’s helped upright.

“Everything feels funny.”

“Sakura,” says a voice she remembers. “Are you awake?”

She nods an affirmative but it’s sluggish. “I feel weird.”

“You’ve been drugged. Do you know what an aphrodisiac is?”

It takes a moment for the word to register. Then another for her to drag the answer from the back of her brain, where she’s filed it under ‘unimportant’ and ‘probably won’t need until later’.

“It’s… it’s a lust inducing medicine. It causes desire, and arousal.”

“Yes. You’ve had three doses. The only way to purge the drug is for you to orgasm.” There’s a brief pause. “…do you know what that means?”

While she’s a private person, she’s not _that_ sheltered.

“It means you have to experience a certain amount of pleasure, to the point of sexual climax. I’m not an idiot, Kakashi-sensei.”

“I know,” he says, and the way he says it is weird, like he’s got tar in his mouth.

“Is something the matter?”

She feels funny. Her body is achy, strangely achy, and hot. Her skin prickles with it. Then there’s a hand, a palm against the skin on her shoulder, and Sakura feels a shiver run down her spine. She’s never felt like this before, never had her toes curl from skin touching skin, but she does, and when she looks up, it’s just a hand. Kakashi-sensei’s hand.

She follows the line of it up his forearm and bicep to his face, covered halfway by the mask. He’s taken his headband off. After traveling and training with him for a whole year it’s a strange sight to see him without the forehead protector covering up his scarred eye. Even now it’s mostly covered by his bangs, choppy silver hair covering most of his expression, but what she can see is bleak. He looks resigned as she’s ever seen him and they’ve had a couple close brushes with death, so something must be quite dire.

“Sensei? Is everything okay?”

He takes a harsh breath. It’s shuddery, like there’s something loose inside his lungs, rattling around. It makes him sound like he’s a step away from door’s death and when he looks up his eyes have a look to match the sound.

“No. But if you never trust anything I have ever said, please believe this: one day, it will be.”

She wonders what he means, and then his other hand touches her cheek.

+

Sasuke wakes up sweating.

His eyes open slowly and his head falls to one side, limp. His vision is hazy. What happened?

_Caught_, he thinks with a surge of disappointment. They were caught in the desert. The ninja dragged them in the sand, deep underground, and then there was something sharp, three times. He wants to reach up but his fingers are heavy, made of lead. Everything’s difficult to do. His thoughts are muddled, sound seems distorted, even his sense of smell is changed, because why would there be the smell of sex all the way out in the middle of the desert?

He can hear a sob, and soft murmuring. He turns his head.

Sakura is naked.

That can’t be right.

He blinks a few times to clear the sand from his vision. But the image remains the same.

Sakura is naked and clinging to Kakashi-sensei.

Sasuke feels his eyes widen slowly.

They’re in the shade of a tall cliff. Sand surrounds them on all sides, except the small windswept alcove they’re occupying at the base of the rocks. Their silver-haired jounin teacher is sitting down, fully clothed, with Sakura’s pale naked body wrapped around his chest, her head on his shoulder and both arms around his neck. Her thighs are spread over his lap and there’s something beneath her, something that looks a lot like Kakashi-sensei’s hand, that’s disappearing up under her.

_He’s inside her_, Sasuke realizes with a sick twist to his stomach.

His fingers are inside of her private parts and she’s moving against him but it looks wrong. She looks awful. The skin of her cheeks is blotched and red, and there’s a faint sheen of sweat dripping from her brow. Her muscles are all trembling as she’s moved by the force of Kakashi-sensei’s movements but she can’t seem to find solace no matter what.

This is Sakura, he thinks with growing nausea, Sakura who has a huge crush on him, who knows so much about medical ninjutsu already, who can lift up huge weights despite her height, who helps Naruto with his homework and lets them study scrolls at her parent’s place on some weekends. It’s his friend. Someone special to him. And their teacher is violating her right in front of him.

He wants to look away.

He cannot take his eyes off of her.

“Please,” he hears, and it occurs that her eyes are so red because she’s been crying for some time now, “Please, no more. Please, I’ll do anything, just...”

“Just one more,” Kakashi murmurs, and Sasuke is helpless to do anything but watch as the jounin’s hand shifts and her whole body moves, twists as she cries out wretchedly.

“_Kakashi-sensei_,” she sobs. Her hips are sliding up and down and he realizes she’s moving in time with him, is arching up against him, seeking more of whatever is happening between them.

Like she wants it. Like she _likes_ it.

Sasuke is breathless with disbelief.

“You can do this,” the jounin says, hand working beneath her, his other palm steadying the small of her back. His hand moves under her, and his fingers curl, and Sakura is twisting, shaking, shuddering with a desperate sound. All at once she slumps against him, all the fight gone out of her.

Sasuke can’t separate his thoughts as Kakashi takes Sakura out of his lap, lays her down on a blanket he’s prepared beside the pile of clothing she’s been stripped of. What the hell is going on? Is this some type of illusion? He tries to muster the energy to check and feels a foreign heat curl in his gut instead. He can’t master his body quick enough to suppress a groan.

Kakashi-sensei stops covering Sakura and slowly turns to his other student. Sasuke can’t measure the look in the jounin’s eyes.

“You’re awake,” he says mildly, as though he hasn’t just taken advantage of Sakura in front of him.

“Bastard,” Sasuke huffs, though it’s an effort. Speaking takes more of his breath, which incidentally becomes harder and harder to focus on. There’s a weird sensation building in his body. Sasuke wants to believe it’s rage, violent and furious at the thought of their teacher betraying them this way, but it’s something else. Something foreign, animal, that he’s never really felt before.

“Hot, isn’t it?”

Black eyes snap up. When did he get so close?

A flat palm comes up to the column of his neck and Sasuke feels a gasp ripple out of him. His body feels hot, indeed. Too hot.

“It’s a drug,” a voice says. Sasuke knows objectively that Kakashi-sensei is the only one around, but it doesn’t sound like him. It sounds distorted, alien, like he’s listening to someone speaking from above water and he’s trapped beneath the surface. “An aphrodisiac. Do you know what that is?”

“Stimulant,” Sasuke manages, panting with the effort. “Makes you horny.” Why is talking so difficult?

“Aa. You’ve had three doses.”

Shit. “That’s a lot.”

“It’s lethal at that dosage. It’s got to come out of your system ASAP.” Sasuke grips his shirt, which has become constricting, awful against his skin. Kakashi might be talking but it’s not important. What’s important is that he’s going to die if he doesn’t get these clothes off, so Sasuke grabs the edge of his shirt and wrestles it off, goes to grab the top of his pants and two hands come down to stop him.

Kakashi-sensei is wearing a strange expression when Sasuke glares up at him.

“Sasuke. You have to ejaculate three times to get it all out of your system. Can you take care of yourself?”

“Is that what you did to Sakura?”

“She didn’t know herself well enough to finish in time,” Kakashi says, not meeting his student’s eyes. “She wasn’t going to make it.”

“So you forced her.”

Kakashi looks up this time. His eye is devoid of light when he looks at Sasuke.

“And I’ll end up forcing you, too.”

Sasuke pants, trying to shake his head. “I can do it. Don’t touch me.”

He’s out of his pants quickly enough and he can recognize the heat in his gut: he’s aroused. His parents hadn’t had time to give him the talk about the birds and the bees but Sasuke’s spent enough nights alone to know himself. He grabs his half-hard member and hisses. It’s sensitive. He casts a dark look at the other man but Kakashi has turned away, is checking Naruto’s pulse in an attempt to give him some semblance of privacy. Sasuke can’t really get into the mood with his teacher and his team so close, but with the alternative being what amounts to statutory rape, he’ll figure things out.

It’s a frustrating few minutes later, when his body is starting to burn and his thoughts are difficult to follow, that Sasuke realizes he’s out of his depth. His body won’t respond the way it normally does. He tries touching himself the way he likes best, tries spitting on his hand for better lubrication, all to no avail. He can’t come.

A hollow voice speaks behind him.

“You’re running out of time.”

“I’ve got this!”

A hand lands on his hip. He can’t stop the way his spine seems to curl at the touch but he slaps the hand away, desperate for control. “I can do this,” he snaps, though his insides are on fire, though his breathing is uneven and difficult. It’s hard to keep his balance.

“Sasuke. You were injected less than two hours ago. It’s lethal in three.”

“Then I have plenty of time.” It comes out as a whine, rather than a snarl, as intended, and there’s a gust of air as Kakashi sighs and steps closer.

“Get—get your hands off me—“

“Sasuke,” Kakashi says, and it hurts how much he still trusts that voice, “You don’t have to forgive me.”

“Don’t—“

There isn’t really a struggle. Sasuke flails, once, before there’s the hot flat of a broad palm on his hip and a slick grip over his painful erection, and three strokes later Sasuke wails as he comes.

His head falls back against the jounin’s chest and his knees give out. Kakashi leads them to the ground, leans Sasuke’s back against his chest, and keeps a grip on him.

“Two more,” he murmurs, and Sasuke shudders at the sound of it.

“I don’t _want_ this.”

“I know.”

“Is there _any_ other way?”

“Two more,” Kakashi repeats, and moves his hand.

Sasuke’s head slams back at the sensation. His body, impossibly hot, aches desperately at the contact. It’s never like this when he touches himself. Kakashi’s hand is bigger, the slide is better, and Sasuke can’t control his body as the friction wrings another orgasm out of him, hot on the tails of his first.

He’s aware, vaguely, as he leans his head back while his chest heaves, that Kakashi is not touching him more than strictly necessary. He’s not stroking his hair or uttering sweet nothings. He isn’t trying to make it sensual. The stone-cold look in his eye isn’t passionate or lustful at all. This is business. It makes it a little easier for Sasuke to relax as the hand holding his half-hard erection moves again.

“I can’t,” he complains as his teacher touches him. “Give me a minute. I can’t come again so soon.”

“You have to.”

“You said I had an hour.”

“I said that twenty minutes ago.”

_It hasn’t been that long,_ he thinks as he struggles to sit up, tries to shove off the large hand cover his dick. It’s obvious, even to him in his muddled state, that he has in fact been drugged. He can’t discount that his senses are also compromised.

Then Kakashi-sensei strokes him, and he stops trying to figure it out.

It feels good but in an awful way. There’s no relief for the intense heat in his guts, the growing roar of arousal twisting inside of him, curling sharp and tight under his skin. He’s hot, impossibly hot on the inside, and Kakashi is touching him outside. This is wrong, somehow.

Sasuke shakes his head in frustration.

“It’s not enough. There’s something missing.”

The hand stroking him stills.

“Inside?”

Sasuke’s eyebrows furrow. How did he know?

“Yeah. It’s…” He can’t summon the words to describe it. There’s this ache inside him, a vacancy he needs filled. “Something’s missing.”

“Tell me if this makes it better,” is his only warning before something touches his ass.

“What the hell are you—“

His protest is cut off abruptly as there’s an intrusion. It’s uncomfortable and tight. There’s some kind of stretch but the hand around his dick keeps moving, and he’s torn between the discomfort and the sense of anticipation of something. What, he doesn’t know. Sasuke has enough awareness to hazard a guess of what’s breached him. From the arm braced behind his back at such an angle, it’s got to be Kakashi’s other hand, which means there’s a finger in his ass.

It isn’t a sexy thought at all. It’s weird, and uncomfortable, and he wants it out of him right until the digit curls and touches something inside of him that changes all that.

A jolt of white-hot pleasure shoots up his spine, gone as quick as it came, but good, so, so good. The breath is punched out of him. It erases all the thoughts in his head, any objection to having a man nearly twice his age touch him goes out the window and all he can think of is how to make the feeling happen again.

Kakashi seems to read his mind and makes a ‘come hither’ stroke inside him. The curling just brushes up against the edge of that spot, and Sasuke’s legs shake violently.

“There we go,” Kakashi murmurs, and moves his other hand.

Sasuke can’t concentrate between the finger setting off sparks at the edges of his vision and the hand around his leaking cock. He wants to sink into embarrassment, to forget his teacher is stroking his dick while he’s fingering the place he shits out of. It isn’t a sexy thought. It’s disgusting, and gross, and then the finger moves in a direction that steals the thoughts from his brain, leaving only white hot desire.

“_Oh_,” Sasuke says, and shivers.

Kakashi keeps working him over, pumping him fast and hard and moving the thick digit deep inside him, flicking up against the edges of that something sweet, something that feels so perfect and good, and Sasuke hears himself groan. Kakashi’s hand is fisting quicker, pumping his slicked length in time with the finger stroking him inside.

It’s in this way that he feels the final stab of satisfaction, the sweet release of completion finally settling over him as he comes, thighs trembling as Kakashi milks him for all he’s worth.

He’s never come so hard in his life.

_(he loves it)_

He’s never felt so good before.

_(he hates it)_

It’s a while after he’s come that the stroking stops. Although the ache is subdued Sasuke’s muscles hurt now, tremendously. He’s not shaky with arousal anymore. Now he’s just exhausted and wrung out.

Everything aches. He feels like he’s been run over.

He’s aware, distantly, that he’s being moved. He’s set down on his side tenderly. It’s their travel cloaks laid out. Something settles around him, soft and smelling like Naruto.

He can see the soft tufts of pink hair that belong to his teammate who’s wrapped up their sleeping blankets just outside his arm’s reach. Sakura’s breathing tells him, to his horror, that she’s probably still conscious, and has most likely heard everything that occurred. He can’t see her face to confirm it, though, before Kakashi is kneeling and something covers him up that smells of Sakura. This is her travel cloak.

He feels dirtier lying naked under it then he has in his entire life.

Sasuke shoves it off with a burst of strength, sits up as much as he can to glare venomously at the silver-haired jounin.

“I’ll never forgive you.”

Kakashi draws the cloak around him with a vacant look.

“I understand.”

Then he stands, and turns away. Sasuke sees him step in the direction of their other teammate. He realizes what Kakashi means to do and feels grabbed by an irrational amount of outrage.

“No.”

He tries to pull himself up but his strength’s been sapped. “No, enough! Don’t touch him!”

“Naruto. Wake up.”

“Stop it!” His legs are jelly and his arms are like flan, and he crashes chin-first into the cloak on the sand. “Leave him alone!”

“Huh? Sensei…” Sasuke’s throat constricts at the sound of the other boy’s voice. “What happened? I… I feel kinda weird. Y’know?”

“Aa.”

“Get _away_ from him!” Sasuke shouts as loud and as hard as he can. “Naruto! Run!”

“Wha… Sasuke-teme?”

_Why isn’t he running?_ Sasuke thinks as Kakashi speaks to Naruto in a low steady voice.

“Drugs?”

Naruto’s voice sounds weird. Like he’s had too much sleep.

_Oh_, Sasuke remembers as Kakashi pulls the other boy upright. _That’s right. The drugs._

“‘Kashi-sensei, what’re y’doin?”

He’s useless, Sasuke realizes with a pang of self-loathing. He can’t move, can’t even distract their pervert teacher long enough for Naruto to try and escape. He’s going to get exactly what they got.

“Hey, stop that. No, I don’t want… stop it, get your hands off of me—”

Sasuke is shaking again. But this time it’s not from the aphrodisiac. It’s rage. Helpless, useless, boiling rage that sears his insides almost as hot as the drugs did. It claws at him, thousands of white-hot needles spearing his insides.

He’s powerless. And Kakashi is pulling off Naruto’s pants.

“Stop it! Sensei, please, it, it’s private… it feels like I really need to pee!”

Something ugly bubbles up in Sasuke’s mind. Naruto isn’t that innocent, is he? There’s no way he doesn’t know what’s happening. He can hear the stamping of the other boy’s feet, insistent, against the ground and Sasuke has this moment of raw clarity very much against his will, this moment he understands that Naruto has never touched himself before, that it’s being done to him. No one’s told him about his body and he hasn’t been curious enough to figure it out for himself. He doesn’t understand what’s about to happen.

It makes something deep inside him he didn’t know was barely being held together snap cleanly in two.

Kakashi’s voice is indifferent. “Then pee.”

“It’s—something feels funny! Something’s coming! I really have to go to the bathroom now!”

“Just let it out.”

More than wanting to shove sand into his ears to stop hearing things, Sasuke fiercely wishes he could shove a knife into Kakashi’s brain, to stop the assault.

He’s never wanted to kill someone more than his own brother than he does in this instant.

He can’t shut out the noises as Kakashi molests Naruto. He can’t cover his ears as his friend comes for the first time in his life less than twenty feet away at the hands of their teacher.

It’s one of the worst moments in his life and his entire clan was slaughtered by someone he loves loved with all of his heart. He didn’t think his heart could break twice in his life.

Foolish little brother, indeed.

Naruto is crying softly when Kakashi lowers them to the ground. Sasuke hears him say just one thing as they drop down.

“Two more.”

+

He’s never been more confused in his life.

Sensei is sitting them down, and something weird just happened. He told Kakashi-sensei not to, but he touched it anyway, touched him in front, but he told him not to, and now they’re wet. Usually he’s strong. Naruto knows he’s no push-over when it comes to physical strength, so why can’t he summon enough to push the older man away? His limbs feel funny and his head is clouded. It’s tough to think when his body hurts, when his stomach is curling in on itself. There’s this _ache_ all over, this itchy feeling inside of him that cries for attention. He struggles as he’s pulled back against the flat of Sensei’s chest.

“Sensei, it feels bad. I, I itch, _all_ over.”

“It’s the drugs, Naruto. If we take off your clothes you’ll feel better.”

“Don’t want to,” he groans, but the tingling is turning painful. “Don’t… it’s too hot. I can’t.”

“I’m going to help you,” Sensei’s voice says.

Naruto thinks he shakes his head. It’s difficult to tell, with the heat curling in his guts.

He feels weak. He can’t stop Kakashi-sensei from peeling off his orange and blue jacket. His arms come up as his shirt is dragged over his head and the sand scratches when the wind sends it flying through the air. Then something hot and big presses into his chest, over his heart, and Naruto hisses as the ache is soothed. It feels better than sinking into a hot bath after an entire day’s worth of D-rank missions, better than beating Sasuke or maybe even getting attention from Sakura-chan. It feels like it’s exactly what he needs.

His hands come up and rest against the heat. It’s familiar, he thinks, holding it in two hands. The size, the shape. He looks down and realizes it’s Kakashi-sensei’s hand. His open palm is resting flat against his chest.

Naruto wonders if his heart will explode up out of him with how hard it’s beating.

“Sensei,” he mumbles, hands tightening around the hand on his chest.

There’s a shuddery breath being drawn in slowly by his ear. “Two more,” he says, and the hand moves.

Naruto watches the path of it, over his chest and down the slope of his stomach, past his waist band and back where it was before beneath his underwear.

It feels good and bad at once. He’s unable to pick which would be worse, Sensei stopping or Sensei touching him more.

“It’s hot,” he complains. “Everything’s hot. And it itches.”

“I’ll help you. Tell me where it feels good.”

The voice is like molasses, thick and slow in his ear, but not sweet like honey. There’s something dark to it that Naruto can’t quantify.

“Naruto.”

Oh yeah. Sensei said.

“Um. It felt good, what you did before.”

“Here?” Kakashi’s hand moves on his penis, and Naruto is almost too mortified to nod. He’s never been more embarrassed in his life. But between being ashamed and having the itching sensation is an easy choice, and when Kakashi-sensei takes him in his bigger hand that’s wet somehow, Naruto can only sigh with relief.

It’s weird. He feels like he has to pee again but it’s different. This time if feels sort of nice. There’s the smell of Sensei behind him and Naruto nuzzles back against it. The hand stroking him stops for an instant but then starts up again smoothly, stroking the skin of him up and down over and over again.

“Sensei,” Naruto says, because it’s not enough. “Sensei, it’s still… it hurts everywhere.”

“I know.”

“It helped,” Naruto continues, “when your hand was there.”

The hand around him freezes and doesn’t move.

“My hand,” Kakashi-sensei says, in a voice that’s very odd, like he’s not sure he’s heard Naruto correctly. As close as they are, Naruto wonders why the older man is having trouble understanding this. It’s very simple, he thinks as he repeats himself.

“It itches. I’m all achy, and weird, but when your hand was on me, it went away. It was good.”

“I understand,” Sensei’s voice says, and his hand moves. It’s joined by the soothing feel of his other palm pressing gently against Naruto’s chest. The warmth of it is comforting and Naruto feels some of the tension bleed out of him. He’s able to relax, able to let his body feel good on its own, as Sensei touches him, warm and pleasant and nice.

“Sensei touching me,” Naruto hears himself mumble, and the hand tenses over his heart. He doesn’t want it to go, though, so he fumbles to catch hold of it, to keep it close to him, always. He never wants to let it go, he thinks as he holds it, fingers digging greedily into Sensei’s flesh.

“Naruto,” Kakashi says thickly.

It occurs to Naruto that maybe he’s saying some of his thoughts out loud? He’s not sure. All he knows is it feels good, when Sensei touches him.

The hand around his private part stutters to a stop. It doesn’t feel as good, and Naruto feels his hips rock back and forth on their own, trying to imitate the friction of Sensei rubbing him, but it’s no good. It’s not nearly what he needs. The ache is coming back. His skin feels sticky, and awful, and hot. He wants that feeling to go away.

“What do you need?”

Blue eyes blink open blearily. Kakashi-sensei sounds different.

“Sensei? Are you okay?”

There’s an awful croaking sound. Naruto realizes after a long moment that it came from Kakashi, and even stranger, that it might have been a laugh.

“Naruto. We don’t have a lot of time. I’m going to try something, to help this go faster.”

“Can I hold your hand?”

Kakashi’s breathing is very loud for some reason.

“Yes. You can keep hold of my hand.”

Sensei shifts them, lays him flat on his back. The sand itches against him, makes him feel a little uncomfortable, but they’re out in the open and he’s got his shirt off and Sensei is peeling his pants open, so it’s not the weirdest thing that’s happened today.

Then Sensei lifts a finger and pulls his mask down and Naruto barely has time to appreciate the sudden view before Sensei leans in over his penis and puts it in his mouth.

Naruto nearly screams.

It’s hotter than _anything_. He feels his thighs clench, his hips jerk as he’s squeezed in Sensei’s mouth, trapped by a damp heat that blasts away any thought left in his mind. He isn’t aware of anything for a few seconds, completely blindsided by the sensation of being trapped in Sensei’s mouth. Then there’s a suction, a smooth pressure sliding up against him, as he’s squeezed by warm lips, and Naruto shouts as his body bends, hips snapping up as something comes out of him. It’s like before but extra some how.

The warmth fades and Naruto is aware of a wet sound. Sensei is spitting, and then he’s back, and there’s a careful pressure under him, cupping his sensitive penis, pressing him sweetly, and Naruto feels more of that _something_ leaking out of him. He shudders as it comes, thick and hot and slick, and then the pressure’s gone.

He feels really, _really_ good now. His muscles don’t hurt any more. He’s relaxed, stretched out like a cat.

When he looks up Kakashi-sensei has his mask back on. His face looks drawn, pale, stretched somehow. Naruto frowns. Sensei doesn’t usually look like that. He reaches up with a hand and traces the edge of Kakashi’s chin. The jounin holds still, lets him, with a watchful eye. The pad of Naruto’s finger moves sluggishly in a circle at the edge of his jaw, then the rest of his fingers come up, reaching.

“Sensei,” he says, suddenly grabbed by a simple desire. “I want…”

+

Kakashi lets Naruto pull at the edge of his mask, lets him pull it down and then pull him down.

+

Sakura has long since closed her eyes and covered her ears. She can’t stop herself from knowing what’s happening. Can’t keep out the sounds of Sasuke and Naruto getting what she got.

She wants to dig a deep, dark hole and drop inside and never come out.

She feels filthy.

Ruined.

But more than that she feels _useless_.

Helpless, as Sensei pulls Naruto’s arms around his neck.

She hears what he said to her, “Hold tight.”

She wants to bury her face in shame when she hears the breathless, eager agreement from her teammate, eager the same way she was not long ago.

“Okay, Sensei.”

She thinks she’s going to be sick.

There’s something slick, something wet sounding, and Naruto makes a sound that’s an awful lot like one of the gasps she’s heard in an adult movie she saw by accident once late at night when her parents thought she was asleep. She feels her gut twist as Naruto makes the sound again, this time louder, and there’s more of the wet noise.

Her hands fist in the fabric around her naked body.

Something taps her through the fabric. She twists her head slowly, because moving takes every ounce of energy that’s not being swallowed under the sizzling flame of the rage that’s burning her up inside, and she sees it reflected in her other teammate’s pitch black glare.

“Let’s kill him,” Sasuke whispers as Naruto groans.

Sakura nods back shakily. Then again, firmly.

“Sensei. That feels really good.”

Kakashi says nothing. She can’t see them, she’s got her back turned to them, but she can guess from sound alone, until Naruto confirms it.

“It was weird, when you put your finger inside, but now… ah, that, yeah, ah-_ah_! That feels really, _really_ good.”

Sasuke’s eyes are bottomless. That’s how they’ll do it, Sakura thinks viciously. They’ll tie a rope and a rock to the jounin’s ankles and throw him into the sea. The last thing he’ll know, staring up at the light as he’s dragged into the deep deep depths, is that they avenged themselves.

Naruto is moaning, long and slow, and there’s absolutely no sound coming from Kakashi-sensei.

Sasuke doesn’t hold a hand out to her. She’s not sure if she’d take it. She’s not sure if she ever wants to touch another person ever again but he holds her gaze, eyes unblinking, and that is more comfort to her than the blanket keeping off the sand and the wind.

It lets her know that despite everything they’re still here. They have each other.

Naruto gasps, then groans, and the ground under them seems to shift as a sound repeats itself: the slap of flesh against flesh.

Sakura understands, suddenly, that Kakashi is fucking Naruto.

+

He’s taken too long. Sakura was simple, an exercise in putting the literature in Icha Icha to a practical test. She came quickly, on his fingers and with gentle touches to her hip, her breast, as little as Kakashi could get away with. Sasuke needed a bit more pressure, needed to be handled a bit more roughly, but he’d been able to pull all three orgasms one right after another.

Naruto’s not going to make it.

Not because he won’t come. He’s well on his way to coming, arms wrapped tightly around his teacher, color bright on his cheeks, and that’s part of the problem. He can see it in Naruto’s bright blue eyes, the same color of his former sensei’s, full of delight as Kakashi fills him up and up and soothes the ache of his body as well as the loneliness in his heart.

Naruto thinks he’s falling in _love_. It’ll break him when Kakashi dies.

And that’s exactly what is going to happen once this is over.

He deserves nothing less, after this.

It’s difficult to think around the heat of Naruto’s body, and instead of drowning in shame and guilt, Kakashi feels his cock twitch at the physical pleasure of it, and it drives his hips forward.

He should have stopped Naruto from taking off his mask. He should have resisted when Naruto reached up to pull him down for a kiss.

He should have, a lot of things.

But Naruto is gasping with pleasure, shaking with delight beneath him, is looking at him with longing, with a desperate hope that hurts so shrapnel sharp that Kakashi has to turn away, or he’ll break.

There’s so much of Minato-sensei in Naruto’s smile, and there’s a fresh wave of nausea at the scope of his failure as Naruto looks at him with his father’s eyes. Kakashi can’t allow himself to think or he’ll lose his erection and Naruto won’t come, and then there’s no point, so Kakashi shuts down his thoughts and doesn’t think, doesn’t look, just feels and lets carnal instinct take over.

He has to finish this.

+

It’s midday when he lays the last of his student down beside the others. Naruto’s face is aglow, cheeks rosy with pleasure, satiated and so head over heels. He doesn’t let go of Kakashi when he’s deposited, doesn’t give up his hands without dragging them in for quick kisses, smiles broadly when Kakashi pulls them back and away. There’s some subtle sounds as Kakashi packs everything up for travel. They’re in no state to continue the mission but at least they can start the trek back home.

He’s got everything mostly tied down when Naruto says it.

“Kakashi-sensei, can we do that again some day? I really liked it.”

The wind is howling but he can’t hear it.

“Sensei?”

If he doesn’t say something Naruto will ask again, but his throat is stuck. He swallows but his mouth is desert dry. He has to say something.

“Was… did you not like it?”

What a bizarre question, he thinks, only to himself. Did he not like raping his thirteen-year-old student, the son of his teacher, the man he loved as a father, who thought the world of him, who trusted him, did he not like having underage sex with him?

“Naruto,” he says, voice even as it can be, “Let’s talk about it after we get back.”

“Promise?”

He’s already taken their youth. He can take a little more.

“Promise,” he lies, and Naruto’s smile pierces him straight through.

+

Sarutobi hasn’t felt so old in a very, very long time.

“And you’ve verified it was Venthrex?”

“Yes, sir.” Kakashi might as well be a robot. There isn’t a single inflection to his tone. “All three were administered lethal doses.”

The Hokage’s head falls.

“Then they need immediate treatment. I’ll alert the hospital. There are few qualified medics, but something can be arranged…”

“There’s no need, sir. I took care of it on the field.”

His eyes go impossibly wide.

“On the field. Kakashi-san?”

“It’s been taken care of,” he repeats, voice emotionless. “They’re at the hospital for recovery. Please accept this.”

He hands over several envelopes. There’s three thick ones and a single sheet of paper on top of that. He knows what form he’s being handed before it leaves Kakashi’s fingers.

“Kakashi-san, I can’t accept your resignation. There were extenuating circumstances—“

“I’m not asking your permission, Hokage-sama. I’m giving you notice.” The first edge of resentment colors the man’s words as he speaks. “It’s the coward’s way, but it’s exactly what I deserve.”

Before Sarutobi can inquire about that cryptic sentiment the jounin indicates each of the envelopes.

“Inside I’ve placed funds for each of them. There’s enough for them to seek council, therapy, or spend on a lifetime’s worth of sweets. It’s all theirs. I’ve signed everything in triplicate.”

“I’ll have copies made and deposit the funds right away.” He can understand why the other man wouldn’t want to discuss something like this face to face with his former team but it’s a fair amount of money, he can’t help but think as he actually opens an envelope. Too much money. It’s almost a third of what Kakashi’s made in his lifetime.

He does the math in his head and stares. It IS a third of what he’s made over his life, exactly that. This is all the money in his possession.

There’s another form being handed to him, and Hiruzen Sarutobi accepts it with a steady hand.

“This is the deed to the Hatake ancestral grounds,” Kakashi says, “I’d like it to be sold.”

“You sent a _Bunshin_,” Sarutobi realizes with wide eyes.

The silver-haired copy pauses for a moment, then continues.

“It would be nice to make it a dog park, or a garden, once the house is gone. I have one last letter. I’m afraid I’m too much of a coward to deliver it myself, even by clone. Could you give this to Naruto for me?”

“Go to him!” Sarutobi barks at the corner of the room. The ANBU hidden in the shadows zips off at top speed. Sarutobi turns back to the copy of the man before him with a despondent gaze. The Kakashi clone shrugs its shoulders carelessly.

“They’ll be too late.”

“You don’t have to follow in his footsteps,” the Third Hokage says firmly. “You can make things right.”

“He really can’t.”

“Won’t you stay and try? It’s not too late.”

The clone eyes the hand extended his way. He pulls his own hands out of his pockets and stares at his palms, like there’s blood covering them.

“I took from them,” Kakashi’s voice says, “I took something they can’t have back. I hurt them in the worst way.”

“They’re stronger than that. You’ve made them strong.”

“I raped them, Lord Third.”

“You saved their lives, Kakashi! It’s because of you that they will live! You have a responsibility to live with them! To see them overcome this, to endure! If you do this—“

The clone folds suddenly, wheezes out all its air at once as it doubles over, and Sarutobi feels ice in his veins.

Then it vanishes in a cloud of smoke.

+

There’s a letter. Naruto opens it, curious, and reads it as rain starts to fall on the window outside.

Three lines later he’s crying, face wetter than the window pane.


End file.
